Bullying: It’s Effect on the Future
I don’t have any photos to share with you today. Rather, I have some stories. Bullying has been around on the news recently, capturing the attention of a few worried parents. Even though I am not a parent, I am a loving and lucky Auntie and I have a hard time thinking about how a parent may react to their chid being bullied in school. Don’t even get me started on parents who bully their children; this is a silent epidemic that I am beginning to see a lot of in my work with children and teens. We hear all of the stories about how cruel kids are to one another. What about the parents that are cruel to their children? What are we to do about that? Isn’t that how the cycle starts? Bullies are bullies because they have been bullied?
A part of me wants to say, yeah, bullies turn into bullies because they have been bullied by their parents, peers, siblings, extended family, teachers, etc. But what about those kids who are bullied that don’t turn into bullies? There is clearly a circle here that can turn and roll right into a tragedy. What about the girl who was teased and bullied by three girls in her school, without acknowledgment from the teachers, principal, social workers, or whomever should have been paying attention… She was teased to the point of taking her own life. And when the three girls who bullied her came to her funeral in which it was assumed they would apologize and show remorse? No. They stood next to her casket and made fun of the outfit that she was to be buried in.
Nauseating, yeah? Did that make your heart rate spike or did you feel your blood pressure rise? It certainly makes me react in such a way. I have stories upon stories that I have heard about bullying while I have been on internship. I don’t remember kids being so cruel when I was in high school. This is certainly a problem that has been getting worse over time… with a few news stories here and there about the losses and effects of bullying… but really, what is being done? Social networking is out of control. Kids can make a group that is “anti” somebody and people can “like” it. Really? Facebook needs to get a grip on that. I certainly do not see any real changes being made in or out of the schools. I am still hearing the stories every day. And those are just the kids who are speaking up… imagine how many aren’t out of fear.
My big question is… how is bullying and its rise through the school system and social networking going to effect our future as a human race? I can say without a doubt that I feel this is the most pressing issue in our society today. When it has come to a point that we deem it “okay” to be cruel to one another as a result of not teaching children and teens that bullying is wrong… I can’t even imagine the hit this world will take in 30-40 years when these kids are running this world.
So in closing, this is my plea to parents: Be kind to your children and teach them to be kind to others. It starts with you. Bullying is an unacceptable behavior and if your child is a bully… do something about it. IT IS NOT OKAY. Repeat. IT IS NOT OKAY.
And this is my plea to the school systems: For the love of everything in this world, if you turn a blind eye to bullying, you are setting the scene for heartache and adults without confidence, without the ability to define the word “happy”, and with scars that run deeper than you will ever see. Yes, I am saying this to you from the perspective of a mental healthcare professional, but know that I am also saying this to you as a citizen that is concerned for the wellbeing of the rest of society as a whole. The damage that is done through bullying is, frankly, disgusting. I could show you research study after research study that details the effects of bullying… but do you really need that? Bullying sucks… it hurts people and the cuts are getting deeper. STOP IT WHEN YOU SEE IT. Not later that day. Social studies and geometry can wait… a bullied child cannot.
I do not have a plea for those of you who have been effected by bullying. What I do have is complete empathy and regret that you have suffered due to a lack of basic “goodwill towards man” and the repeated breaking of “the golden rule”. My wish for you is to continue to persevere, even though it is difficult and sometimes unbearable. I promise you that it gets better. But, in the mean time, reach out to anyone who will listen… and if you have a hard time finding someone who will listen… keep trying. Never, ever give up.
Dedicated to those who have seen the ugliest side of people, those who have been bullied:
May you always remember that the most beautiful of things can survive the roughest and toughest storms. What matters is that you believe that you can survive those days. And I believe that you can… meanwhile, I’ll be working and advocating for all of this bullying to be minimized. That is my promise to you.
Personality Tests & Self-Awareness
I’ve never met a person that wasn’t interested in taking a personality test. I wonder why that is. Aren’t we supposed to know ourselves already? Do we need a test to tell us who we are and how we act on a day to day basis? Maybe it is just because we like figuring out little parts of ourselves and having a test confirm that. Maybe we like hearing about our strengths. Maybe… well maybe a lot of things. But what about those little things that the personality test says that aren’t so flattering? What about the things they tell us that we aren’t aware of?
Taking an honest to goodness psychometric personality test isn’t available online… for free. So stop your Google search now. One of the most well known and most used personality tests is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, more affectionately known as the MBTI. You can take an adapted form of this personality inventory. Just click here. Now, if you take it, remember that you MUST. BE. HONEST. Otherwise, it just won’t be right! 🙂 After you are done it will give you your Myers Briggs type and a little information about it. Don’t forget to click on the link at the bottom of the page to get a little more information about your personality type.
I’ll share mine with you all so we can discuss a little self awareness. I actually have taken the full length MBTI and this adapted test matched up quite well. So, my type is the INSJ. Introverted. Sensing. Feeling. Judging. The ISFJ is known as the “Conservator” and overall desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs. Very loyal. Sounds like me to me. When it gets a little more detailed is when self awareness kicks in. Here is what the adapted MBTI has to say about me. Follows the rules, polite, fears drawing attention to self, dislikes competition, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, timid, dutiful, private, lower energy, finisher, organized, socially uncomfortable, modest, not confrontational, easily hurt, observer, prone to crying, not spontaneous, does not appreciate strangeness – intolerant to differences, apprehensive, clean, planner, prone to confusion, afraid of many things, responsible, guarded, avoidant, anxious, cautious, suspicious, more interested in relationships and family than intellectual pursuits, not adventurous, fears doing the wrong thing, dislikes change.
Pretty much right on. Now, who likes to hear about themselves that they are “afraid of many things, guarded, anxious, cautious, fears doing the wrong thing…” etc. Not me, but that is part of being self aware. I know those things about myself and my personality. I’ve even spent a lot of time in self reflection figuring out how those personality traits developed. So, my suggestion to you, the next time you take a personality test or if you ever take a personality test… take some time to reflect. Take some time to become more self aware. Don’t just say, “Yep, that’s me!” and be done with it. Take in the good with the bad and actually think about what what your results are.
Of course… sometimes you don’t need a personality test to tell you about you or someone else. For instance:
No personality test can give you that. No personality test can make you really see the person. It may offer insight, but it also may lack a human quality. Or maybe even several human qualities. All I know is that personality is an interesting topic for those of you outside of psychological training. I urge to you take a more active and abstract approach when you get the results of your personality test if you ever take one. Bottom line is a personality test doesn’t tell you who you are, because you already know that. A personality test shows you. It lays it all out in front of you for you to see. Take the time to see it and understand why. If you take the adapted MBTI above, have some fun with it and maybe learn a little from it.
Love What You Do
Do you love what you do? I think that is a pretty important question. I’m not talking about “do you love your job?”, although that is what most people assume. Yeah one of the most commonly asked questions when you first meet someone is, “What do you do?”. I get it. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I do know that I love what I do. I mean, I truly love what I do in everyday life. I love what I do for a living. I love all that I do to further my growth as a human. I love that I play music games with my mom and talk about silly things with my brother. I love connecting. I love engaging in creative play time. I also love sitting on the couch watching Ahh! Real Monsters and Glee and ignoring my phone sometimes.
Now, of course there are things that I do that I don’t love… commuting, saying no, paying for gas, arguing, etc. The point is… whatever you are doing today… I hope that you love it. I mean, love it. Those things that we have to do that we don’t love should be outweighed by the things that we do love. I shot these photos a long time ago… and for me, they are timeless. I come back to them all of the time. I think the message in these photos is what drives me.
There is a lot of symbolism in these photos. I suppose the main and most obvious act of symbolism is the mug filling up and running over with water. It just takes one little drop at a time, but eventually, it will be full. Can you apply that your life? Can you apply that to taking little drops of happiness and filling your soul with them… drowning out the negativity? Drowning out what brings you down?
If you are asking yourself why I am writing about this love stuff in these last couple of posts, I have a simple answer for you. I am growing quite weary of hearing sad stories wrought with pain, abuse, and LACK OF LOVE, for anything. For whatever reason, there seems to be a growing love and need for social networking and a dependence on the internet. This doesn’t foster human connection, it hinders and weakens it.
In a world that is growing more negative and breeding hate, I would like to get you to think about love. Love in any sense… for your family, friends, pets, hobbies, job, favorite food, TV shows, even……. even…….. even………. country music. Whatever makes you feel happy, makes you feel an affinity towards something, grab it. There is too much out there that can make us unhappy. Focus on what makes you happy today.
And if you were wondering what I am going to focus on that makes me happy. Mashed potatoes. Yummy.
“The Art of Loving”
Is love an art form? Certainly. So that must mean that there is an art in loving someone or something. So let’s talk about art… It is up for interpretation and can be interpreted differently from one person to the next. It is a symbolic form of communication in that ink, oils, pastels, graphite, theatre, dance, photographs and the like portray much more than meets the eye. Art requires that you look into it… not at it. Art is a form of expression, a medium to search the human soul.
How is that any different from love? Love can be interpreted differently from one person to the next. To one person love might mean a safe place to come home to at night, but to another person that might just not be enough. For another person, love might be an all-consuming force with no walls or barriers. Love is different for everyone. Just like a painting might be view differently by everyone. I could look at a Monet and feel joy, hope, and love. The serenity that I find in a Monet painting is priceless. But you might not feel that way about a Monet. You might feel that way about a Hopper or a Matisse.
Love is a symbolic form of communication. However, when it really boils down to it, love drives communication. Think about that… the love of money may drive a person to communicate greed, lavishness, etc. The love of the earth leads people to lobby for environmental preservation. The love of animals leads a person to communicate the necessity for animal rights. The love of a person leads to the communication… of… what? Complicated question, yes? Not one for me to answer today. Not because I don’t want to answer, but because I cannot articulate one. So since I could not articulate an answer to that question, I decided to photograph it. Just a short little series that I titled “Art is Love/Love is Art.”
Well that is the series in its collective form. Here are the images separately, +1 extra.
I said earlier that art requires you to look into it… not at it. In the art of loving, that could not be truer. If you seldom look into love… into what drives you to love… if you are only looking at it, you are missing out. Love can turn sour. Love can fade. Not just in relationships. For example, I apparently used to love peas. I have no recollection of this and I detest peas. Another example, I used to love the Spice Girls… ‘nuff said. Love is a connection that is not necessarily permanent. It takes work to maintain it. In that sense, the art of loving includes a form of expression that is crucial in the existence of love.
So where is all of this coming from? I’m not one to talk about love and all of that junk. The thing is though, while most people look at love solely on the relationship level, I am trying to get you to think of love as surrounding you. These thoughts struck me while I was driving today and I recalled a book that I read a couple of years ago by a psychologist, Eric Fromm. His book titled the Art of Loving has been sitting on my bookshelf for quite some time and I have never finished it. So I started thinking that as an artist and a future psychologist (fingers crossed) that I don’t need to read his book to decide if love is an art form. Seriously though, I’m going to start reading again tonight.
If you would like to read it too, find it here on Amazon.com
Change… what is it made of?
Remember a few years ago when Barack Obama, presidential hopeful and current leader of this great nation, was preaching about change? Yes, we can change! Yes, we can! Well I certainly do. Now, I’m not going to debate politics here, but I will say that I am unbelievably exhausted… not tired, but exhausted from political ads. These people are calling my cell phone to preach at me and tell me how they can change things. The truth of the matter is.. no one is going to change anything, they are too busy arguing over who is right and who is wrong. But really, we are supposed to vote for the person who is less of a monster than the other, yet still voting for a monster.
I will not be going to the polls this year to vote for anyone. I’m exercising my right to NOT vote for any of these people simply because I don’t think either of you will do the job right and I don’t want to be ashamed when I have to answer “Yes, I voted for him/her.” when they inevitably abuse their power, corrupt the system, and lie to the people. What I am absolutely certain of is that something needs to change and one man or woman just can’t do it. You all know what Gandhi said right? Be the change you wish to see in the world. Does that mean we need to change ourselves instead of relying on others to change the world for us? I think so.
I wanted to let you in on a little secret. Well, it isn’t a secret, but most people don’t know about it unless they have been therapy or the like. When someone wants to change something about themselves or really make a change of any sort they will go through a series of stages. There are 5 distinct stages; pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. I will outline them for you really quick like:
1) Pre-contemplation – This is a the first stage which isn’t really much of a stage at all because the person has no indication or intention to change a behavior. They may even be unaware or “underaware” of their problems.
2) Contemplation – This is the stage when the person first becomes aware that a problem exists and they begin seriously think about fixing said problem, but aren’t really committed to it just yet.
3) Preparation – Pretty much just like it sounds. A person in this stage may have made unsuccessful attempts at change in the past few months or they are intending to take action very soon.
4) Action – Again, just like it sounds. A person will begin to modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome the problem. The trick here is essentially “easier said than done”, right? Yep. This stage requires a great deal of energy and commitment. But it’s totally worth it.
5) Maintenance – You guessed it, the person maintains their new behavior, experience, or environment.
So… first, in regards to our country, what stage of change to you think our leader’s are in? Totally subjective question. I won’t answer it for the sake of my keeping this post less than 2 miles long. Aside from our leaders… is there something that you would like to change about our country? Do you want to change things? I’m with Gandhi. I will be the change I wish to see in the world. I hope that you will be too. I feel like I will be in the action stage for most of my life and we can only get to maintenance if we all work together. Help me be the change we need and lets get to maintenance… this action stuff is wearing me out.
Also to all of you politicians out there… get your act together because one day, you will have to answer to your voters. And one day, we won’t let you get away with the things that you do. We can make change without you… just wait and see.
Without Mental Health Series
I shot this series a while ago. Now, the theme is dark and rather unlike most things that I post. But there is a lot of symbolism and I think a lot of insight of what the “lack of mental health” can look like. All of you, or most all of you know, that I used to work at an inpatient psychiatric facility with some patients with some severe psychological disorders. I brought my interpretation of how some of these souls feel through me and through the lens. I haven’t posted them before due to their unhappy nature, but since it is getting close to Halloween, I thought I might be able to get away with it. Overall, the series progresses from emotional/psychological struggle to emotional/psychological freedom.
Again, I will forewarn you, these pictures aren’t going to be “happy” but I hope I may give you a little insight into the world of people with severe psychological disturbances. There is a distinct order to the series of 5.
#1 – The Struggle Within
Can you imagine what it is like to feel trapped in your own mind and trapped in a facility that you do not trust. You know that you want to escape from both, but you just don’t know how. The contrast between light and dark is a huge part of this series, you will notice this contrast in most of the photos. In this photo, you can see the light coming through the crack at the bottom of the door. Letting you know that there is light outside. But right now, the struggle is just too much to bear and the slightest attempt for freedom just isn’t enough. The multiple exposure of the photograph hints at a lack of reality, notice how the person is slightly transparent? Is the person really “there” or are they a passing delusion in their own delusion?
#2 – Longing for Sanity
Now, the fight is on. You know that you want to fight, but it is a hard road. Mental illness, especially any psychotic disorder, is an extremely difficult thing to beat. But there is hope and it is behind the door. Just trying to open the door…
#3 – Duality
The door is open, and you can see the light. You can see that things are getting better. But what I have noticed about people I have worked with is a hesitancy to recover, a hesitancy to take medication, a hesitancy to trust. So, before and real positive change or step in recovery can be made, there is a duality between “selves”. The person who wants to get better, and the person that believes highly in delusions to the point that they will not give them up… no matter how enticing that warm light of recovery might be. Still take note of the contrast between light and dark…
and finally, #4 – The Light from the Outside finds the Light Within
In this final frame, she finally finds the balance between light and dark. In contrast to the very first photo in the series, she is essentially “lit up”. The first photo depicts her as a dark character, reaching for escape. This photo depicts her as having a light inside her that is brought out by the light outside the door. Again lots of symbolism… what are your thoughts?
So, I hope that didn’t scare you too much. I also hope that I was able to shed some light on an area that you may not have had directed experience with. Psychological disorders, from depression to bipolar to schizophrenia to generalized anxiety, are difficult for any person to handle. There is a flux of seeking treatment and refusing treatment. There is a flux between reality and delusion and between cognitive distortions.
My bottom line today is this: Mental health treatment in this country is a stigma. And above it what it looks like when it goes without attention. Most of the time people, like 40-60% of people who struggle with any mental health issue do not seek treatment due to this stigma. The overall intention of this series is to draw attention and to put a visual to what it means to lack mental health and that through the struggle of regaining that mental health, there is hope. Always hope.
Weekly Photo – Seasons Change, Memories Remain
I snapped this photo on my cell phone when I parked my car outside the hospital that I work. I am oddly attached to this photo for reason. I started to think about the reason(s) why I was so drawn to it.
It’s simple. I love the contrast… and I love autumn. It is a fleeting season. While summer and winter seem to linger on and on… especially winter… autumn comes and goes like a warm October night. When I really started to think about it, I have a lot of memories that coincide with my favorite season that always resurface when the air changes.
I suppose that I never thought of seasons to hold associative properties. But I clearly can associate a great deal with the change of the leaves and the chilling of the wind. Most of all, when these memories resurface at the beginning of fall, I feel all warm and nostalgic on the inside. I don’t want that feeling to go away along with the sun when winter smacks me in the face. So, for the weekly photo, I am sending out a kind message to the leaves on the trees (especially the red ones): Don’t fall away too quickly. Linger on for just a little while longer. Let us enjoy your contrast with the blue sky for just a little while longer, won’t you please?
Weekly Photo – Buried Treasure
What does the notion of “buried treasure” hold for you? Is it a pirate’s loot of silver and gold buried beneath a sandy beach? Is it a “time machine” that you buried in your back yard as a kid? Is it a photograph found a the bottom of an old cardboard box in your garage?
Buried treasure and be all kinds of things, right? I snapped this photo one day walking down a Chicago sidewalk. Odd place for an old trunk, but nevertheless, I was intrigued enough to record its memory.
It’s easy to wonder what secrets it used to hold or whose buried treasure used to reside in its now peeling green walls. I wonder where the key is… Then I get to thinking more and more about what this old trunk and this photo means. As always, think of what it means to you before you read what it means to me…
For me, it is psychologically symbolic for what Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called the “collective unconscious”, this is after he broke up with Freud of course… According to Jung, the collective unconscious is “a second psychic system of a collective, universal, and impersonal nature which is identical in all individuals. This collective unconscious does not develop individually but is inherited.” In a nutshell, what Jung is trying to tell you is that we all inherit a universal view of how the world works. For example, we inherit the idea of having a loving mother.
For me, that photo above literally holds this notion of the collective unconscious that we all share. It’s been passed down from those who come before us. We may not fully understand all of the secrets that it may hold. What else can you say about it? It looks to me like it is old and worn and forgotten. I take this as a notion that we are taking our world for granted. We are discarding ideas and pleasantries that should not be discarded.
For instance… the “Golden Rule”… where has that gone? Treat others how you want to be treated, right? That is part of the collective unconscious in my humble opinion. But it is quickly fading… the new “Golden Rule” is to treat others in a way that is hurtful and demeaning in order to get ahead. Or, put someone else down to make yourself feel better… Or the more friends you collect on Facebook, the better person you are. I could go on and on…
Bottom line is: whatever you deem to be buried treasure, needs to be uncovered. In my case, I think that humanity has lost its sense of… well… humanity. I think that the basic rules for treating others need to be uncovered. So, today, think about some buried treasure and go out and find it… or better yet, go out and be the change that is needed.
The Poe Project
While I should be studying and concentrating on other areas in my life right now, I have decided to take a short break and realized that I have, yet again, been slacking on posting. Even though most of my energy has been put forth into preparing for that darned PhD application process, my creative muscle still needs some exercise. I have several projects and series that have popped up in to my consciousness while I have been diligently putting effort into less creative areas of my life. I find that some of my best ideas arise when my mind gets tired and simply wanders into a creative realm.
The other day I had a short break in between work, internship, school etc. and I had been just dying to get some of my ideas through the lens. So in about 20 minutes, I shot some photos that are the beginning of a series titled “The Poe Project”. In this series, which will be a continual process, I will take photographs inspired by the writings and life of Edgar Allen Poe. So here are the first few:
And there we have it. So far, the works are merely a superficial and very literal representations of The Poe Project. As my thoughts delve more into the life of Edgar Allen Poe, the works will become more abstract and subjective in nature. I am very happy with the way that these turned out in the relatively short time frame I had to set up and capture what I had in my head. However, I am looking forward to the challenges that this project will bring.
If you are asking yourself “how is this putting the psychological spin on photography?” Well, it is true that in this post I am not spelling out everything that is psychological about these photos. This post is just an introduction to the series. However, psychology is written all over these photos, no pun intended… well maybe it was a little intended… For now, draw your own interpretations and stay tuned for more in this series.
Image & Psyche 